How to Learn to Tolerate Emotions with EMDR Therapy

The Importance of Tolerating Emotions

Emotions are a natural part of life, but they can often feel overwhelming. For many people, the instinct is to avoid or suppress these emotions, believing that doing so will protect them from pain. However, this emotional avoidance can actually lead to greater emotional distress in the long term.

Learning to tolerate emotions—especially the difficult ones—can be one of the most powerful skills you can develop. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a highly effective treatment for helping individuals process and regulate their emotions, especially when it comes to trauma or emotional overwhelm. In this blog, we’ll explore how EMDR therapy helps build emotional tolerance, and why it's a crucial step on the path to healing.

Why We Struggle with Emotions

Our emotions are deeply connected to our thoughts, memories, and physical sensations. When we experience less comfortable emotions—like sadness, anger, shame, or fear—it can be easy to want to push them away or ignore them. This instinct is often tied to fight-or-flight responses that were useful in dangerous or life-threatening situations, but it can become harmful when we try to suppress emotions that are part of our daily experiences.

Suppressing emotions can create a buildup of unprocessed feelings, leading to:

• Increased anxiety or stress: Unaddressed emotions can lead to a constant sense of tension or unease.

• Physical symptoms: Emotional suppression can result in physical issues like headaches, muscle tension, or digestive problems.

• Emotional outbursts: Eventually, the buildup can lead to emotional outbursts or "lashing out" when emotions are no longer manageable.

Learning to tolerate emotions helps you break free from this cycle. By sitting with your emotions, acknowledging them, and processing them in a healthy way, you can build emotional resilience and prevent these feelings from becoming overwhelming.

How EMDR Therapy Helps You Tolerate Emotions

EMDR therapy is designed to help you process difficult emotions, memories, and experiences, so you no longer feel trapped by them. Through bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping), EMDR helps your brain reprocess emotional memories, shifting your emotional response to them.

Here’s how EMDR supports emotional tolerance:

1. Reprocessing Trauma-Linked Emotions

When traumatic experiences occur, the associated emotions often get "stuck" in the body and mind. These emotions can overwhelm you, making it difficult to tolerate them. EMDR targets these emotions and memories, helping your brain reprocess them in a way that reduces their emotional intensity. As you work through trauma with EMDR, the emotional charge tied to these memories decreases, allowing you to feel more in control of your emotions rather than being overwhelmed by them.

2. Creating a Safe Space for Emotions

One of the core principles of EMDR therapy is creating a safe space for you to experience and process emotions. Your therapist will guide you through reprocessing memories in a controlled, supportive environment, which helps you build emotional tolerance in a way that feels manageable and non-threatening. This sense of safety is crucial for learning how to sit with difficult emotions without feeling overwhelmed.

3. Building Emotional Resilience

As you process emotions in EMDR, you will also work on developing new beliefs and coping strategies. You will learn how to recognize emotional responses and manage them without resorting to avoidance or suppression. By changing the way you respond to emotions, EMDR helps build emotional resilience, so you can face difficult feelings with greater ease and confidence.

4. Grounding Techniques During Emotional Overwhelm

During EMDR, it’s normal to experience emotional discomfort or even physical sensations tied to the trauma. Your therapist will teach you grounding techniques to help you stay present and calm during the reprocessing. These tools—like deep breathing, mindfulness, or focusing on your senses—can help you tolerate emotions in the moment without becoming overwhelmed.

Practical Tips for Building Emotional Tolerance During EMDR

While EMDR therapy is a powerful tool for managing emotions, there are also practical steps you can take on your own to enhance your emotional tolerance:

1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques, like observing your emotions without judgment, can help you build emotional tolerance over time. By noticing how your body feels and how your emotions manifest, you can learn to "sit with" your emotions without reacting impulsively.

Tip: Try a simple mindfulness practice by sitting quietly and focusing on your breath for a few minutes. Notice any emotions that arise, but instead of judging them, simply observe them without attachment.

2. Acknowledge Your Emotions

Rather than pushing emotions away, take a moment to acknowledge them. Say to yourself, "I’m feeling anxious" or "I feel sad right now." This simple act of acknowledgment can be incredibly powerful in helping you accept and tolerate difficult emotions.

3. Practice Deep Breathing

When emotions feel intense, grounding yourself with deep breathing can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm your emotional response. Breathe in slowly for four counts, hold for four counts, and then exhale slowly for four counts.

Tip: Use this deep-breathing technique whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions, either during or after an EMDR session.

4. Start with Smaller Emotions

If you find it difficult to tolerate large, overwhelming emotions, start with smaller emotions that you feel more comfortable processing. For example, work on tolerating mild frustration before moving on to more intense feelings like grief or anger. Over time, you can gradually build your emotional tolerance by facing more difficult feelings.

5. Talk to Your Therapist

Your therapist will be an invaluable resource in helping you understand and tolerate your emotions. Be sure to share your feelings during your sessions. Your therapist can offer additional strategies, reassure you that what you’re experiencing is normal, and help guide you through emotional discomfort in a safe and controlled way.

Why Emotional Tolerance is Essential for Healing

Learning to tolerate emotions is an important step toward healing from trauma and emotional distress. When you can sit with and process difficult emotions rather than avoid them, you build emotional strength and resilience. With EMDR therapy, you not only release the emotional charge tied to trauma but also learn new, healthier ways to handle emotions moving forward.

Tolerating emotions doesn't mean suppressing them—it means allowing yourself to experience and process them in a healthy, constructive way. Over time, this skill will help you become more emotionally balanced and able to cope with life’s ups and downs with greater ease.

Final Thoughts: EMDR and Emotional Healing

EMDR therapy is a transformative approach to healing trauma, anxiety, and emotional distress. By helping you process and reframe emotional memories, EMDR teaches you how to tolerate difficult emotions and release them from your body and mind. If you're struggling with overwhelming emotions, EMDR can be a helpful tool to build emotional resilience, regain control, and find peace in your emotional experience.

If you’re ready to learn how to tolerate your emotions in a healthier way, consider reaching out to an EMDR therapist. Together, you can work toward building emotional strength and moving past the experiences that’s been holding you back.

Contact me to get started or learn more about my approach to Individual Therapy.

*This blog post was developed with the assistance of AI, which helped organize and enhance the content. The final content has been reviewed and refined to ensure it aligns with our values and to ensure it provides valuable insights to readers.