Repairing Trust: How Gottman Method Couples Therapy Helps after Boundary Violations

When trust is broken, the emotional foundation of a relationship is shaken. Whether it’s dishonesty, infidelity, emotional betrayal, or other boundary-crossing behaviors, boundary violations can leave partners feeling hurt, disconnected, and uncertain about the future.

The good news? Healing is possible. With the guidance of a trained therapist, couples can rebuild trust, restore emotional safety, and move forward with greater clarity and connection.

At my practice based out of Burnaby, British Columbia, I exclusively use the Gottman Method—a proven, research-based approach to couples therapy—to help partners address boundary violations and create lasting repair.

What Is a Boundary Violation in a Relationship?

Boundaries are the emotional, physical, and psychological lines that define what feels safe, respectful, and acceptable in a relationship. When these lines are crossed, even unintentionally, it can lead to:

• Loss of emotional trust

• Feelings of betrayal or rejection

• Escalating conflict or withdrawal

• Difficulty reconnecting emotionally or physically

Common boundary violations include:

• Infidelity (emotional or physical)

• Lying or withholding information

• Disrespecting personal space or privacy

• Ignoring agreed-upon relationship rules

• Crossing digital boundaries (e.g., social media, texting, location sharing)

Whether the violation is large or small, it can cause emotional damage that lingers—unless it’s acknowledged, addressed, and repaired.

How Gottman Method Couples Therapy Supports Repair

The Gottman Method provides a structured, compassionate approach to helping couples navigate rupture and repair. Based on over 40 years of research, this method helps partners rebuild their emotional foundation through:

1. Rebuilding Trust Step-by-Step

Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight. In therapy, partners work on re-establishing emotional safety through consistency, transparency, and vulnerability. The Gottman Method introduces the Trust Revival Method, which includes:

• Atonement: Acknowledging the hurt, taking responsibility, and offering a sincere apology

• Attunement: Rebuilding emotional intimacy through empathy, understanding, and emotional validation

• Attachment: Reconnecting physically and emotionally in a way that feels safe and secure

2. Creating New Boundaries That Feel Safe

Therapy helps couples redefine what boundaries look like moving forward. This may include:

• Setting clear expectations around communication, privacy, and digital behaviour

• Creating shared agreements around emotional and physical intimacy

• Learning how to say “no” or “not yet” without fear or guilt

• Practicing respectful conflict resolution when boundaries are tested

These boundaries are co-created in session to ensure both partners feel respected, empowered, and heard.

3. Processing the Emotional Impact Together

Boundary violations often leave unresolved emotional wounds. Through Gottman Method tools like the Aftermath of a Fight and the Stress-Reducing Conversation, couples can:

• Safely process painful events

• Explore each partner’s internal experience

• Validate emotions without judgment or defensiveness

• Begin to forgive and move forward—without minimizing the hurt

This level of processing is essential for true repair, rather than surface-level resolution.

Why Seek Couples Therapy in Burnaby or Vancouver?

If you’ve experienced a boundary violation in your relationship, you may feel unsure whether trust can ever be restored. Couples therapy offers a space where healing is not only possible—it’s structured, intentional, and deeply transformative.

At DrRukavina.com, we support couples in Burnaby and Vancouver with:

• Couples Therapy using the Gottman Method

• EMDR Therapy to address the deeper emotional impact of betrayal

• Flexible online options for couples looking to repair and reconnect

Final Thoughts

Boundary violations don’t have to end a relationship—but they do require deep repair, trust-building, and emotional honesty. Gottman Method couples therapy offers a compassionate, structured way to do just that.

If you’re ready to address what’s happened and move toward healing, know that you don’t have to do it alone. Help is available.

Take the first step toward healing and rebuilding trust.
Book a free consultation, explore couples therapy, or learn more about couples therapy for affairs in Burnaby and Vancouver to learn more.

*This blog post was developed with the assistance of AI, which helped organize and enhance the content. The final content has been reviewed and refined to ensure it aligns with our values and to ensure it provides valuable insights to our readers.